Well here i am up at 2 in the morning (don't ask me why lol cuz i don't know) everyone else is asleep. i start to think how great i have it. I have a family that loves me (including friends) and that i can rely on when ever and where ever. Makes me want to cry because i love them so much yet i feel constantly that i don't have enough time with them. I am afraid the time i have with them will get even shorter because i start school back up and i also work. It's hard to do church, work and school all together i get overwhelmed easily by all the stuff i have to do. But i can not do one with out the other. I'm scared and miss the old times where we all had enough time to spend together. We all could hang out and play games or go watch a movie, but now that i am older those seem to go away. i can still do things with my friends and family but not as often as i would like to. Its just so different by now i should already know things and should be more mature but i am not and i feel ashamed of that because i know that some people are watching me and learning from me, and sometimes i wish i wasn't so stupid or didn't do that particular thing right then and there. but that's just me i love to have fun, i love to make people laugh, i want to be there for them when they need me and even when they don't. I want to be the best friend i can be, i want to help when ever help is needed or even when it might not be. i want to be able to share or maybe even give a testimony to someone, i feel i need to be (hmmm how do i word this) more in tune with God or farther along than i should be but I'm not. i know i should be farther along but so many obstacles get in my way but that's no excuse. Anyways i must go cuz i work tomorrow so hopefully it ll be a good one love ya peace out
PS. yea i know its kinda all over the place lol but its what i had on my mind and now that its out maybe i can sleep!! lol God Bless
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